Once I’m done with my daily tumblr watch routine, I go hanging around the other Internet. Watching Lana Del Rey’s “Tropico” on Friday night certainly was my biggest mistake of the week. You’ve got all the tumblr culture in there: unicorns, Jesus, booty-shake, tattooed tears and albinos. Twenty-seven looong minutes, without any reference, or guiding line: you can trust me when I say Tropico is a real ordeal. Lana could seem fappable, if only she didn’t look so bored all the darn time. But I guess I’m not in a position to judge, so let’s get back to our muttons.
In the beginning, my gifs collection included a vast majority of pussy close-ups in various situations — what can I tell you, it’s in my nature. But after further research, I managed to find several gifs in a different visual register. This week will nevertheless remain exclusively feminine, with scissors and muddle-and-jumble of legs as evidence.
This one kind of makes me want to yell for help and hand out a whole bottle of physiological serum to the charming young lady. Nothing has me shuddering more than seeing that little sperm squirt on the brink of her eyelid, threatening to trickle into her eye. This is highly discouraged, I was told… And that’s about all that remains from my high-school biology class.
It’s winter, it’s cold, tootsies too deserve their holiday truce. So keeping the socks on is OK, but the panties should be tossed away in about 15 minutes’ time.
Let’s say this gif is simply the sequel of the previous one. A nice muff like this, luscious and succulent, merits to be touched by more than the eyes.
That’s a real gem we’ve got here! A girly threesome, long socks mandatory — it’s winter, don’t forget. Can you guess who all those legs belong to in that puzzling pelvis-teaser? Personally, I’m still looking.
Some do enjoy their ride in the backseat. I guess they were too much in a hurry to take the trouble to take off their underwear. On that note, by the way, they could have found something better to wear than the jersey pants and thong combo. I’m telling you, fashion bloggers aren’t what they used to be.
Photo: Ashley Smith by Jason Lee Parry