As Internet’s weirdest deliriums slide before my eyes, I sometimes come to think it must end here and now. But then I get a grip, because you cuties are still sensitive human beings and the mere fact that I am no longer one doesn’t mean I shouldn’t preserve you a little. Except we would pretty soon get bored to death if we stuck to 5D-shot gifs and bare pussies overflowing with luv, wouldn’t we? “It’s not because it’s tasty that it’s funny”: that’s my mantra for this column. So this week I tried to do things by half and restrict myself to that interspace between the LOL and the OOH.
For this week, I chose underwater sports, optimized sex, vagina flexibility… and a mole game.
We chicks dig each other, like, much. And when there’s diggin’, there’s neckin’. Here we have a wonderful example of feminine solidarity to achieve orgasm. OK, I must admit we don’t all have armadas of top-models to share our pajama-parties with, but what the heck.
I don’t know about you, but I personally feel the need to maximize my time, since days only last 24 hours. In that perspective, this gif looks like a good example of optimization: have your pussy eaten while checking your professional emails and finish up some work, and twerk a little – weekly workout, you know?
The underwater gif takes up more and more space on tumblr, which will no doubt contribute to popularizing the #Mermaid tag in porn. This time around it’s a snorkel-blow-job. Not sure if it’s really pleasurable, for the lady that is, or even if it’s doable, unless there’s an oxygen tank hidden somewhere.
Do you remember that game where you had to hunt moles in holes? So fascinating! I’d love to play it again some time. For those of you who definitely lost their inner child, the above gif offers a rather likeable alternative.
I could think of nothing better than to drop this here for you… What a perfect illustration for the slogan “Eat Pussy, it’s Vegan”! This lady sure got flexibility as well as good taste, since she chose an eggplant, and not the least.