It’s a trend, whether Eric Cartman likes it or not, Ron Howard is not anymore the only Ginger’s pride in the hood, we are in a red-wave and it spreads everywhere on your screens.
Ginger Girls: I LOVE YOU…
Despite the facts they have no soul or they are most likely Witches, I’ve always been super attracted to girls with red hairs. Some weirdos would say it’s because I’m myself a kind of “carrot head’s” dude and I only want my red-people to conquer the world (#GINGER PRIDE). They are WRONG, from all the hot girls I can remember, Ginger hotties are not always the top one! Aria Giovanni, if you read me, you still stay at the pinnacle of my desires.
But Redheads have something different that glows to the eyes like an intense wildfire where I want to stick something in. It’s a total pyromaniac hypnosis.
If I have the choice, I would go for the natural born Gingers instead of fake one and I absolutely love the whole classic redhead-package: Pale-porcelain skins, freckles, supernatural powers, red bushes (YUM!).
I think all is coming from my first crush: Jessica Rabbit
“Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” was my first VHS tape’s acquisition and I wanted to marry Jessica Rabbit as a kid. But I understood later the terrible truth; out of the fact that she’s a cartoon character, I discovered she’s literally more into Zoophilia…
Jessica was followed afterward by many other casual long term Ginger’s crushes like the one with the sublime Julian Moore, or the gorgeous Nicole Kidman and more recently the BIG crush with the over Juicy-Red-Hot Christina Hendriks.
A new hope
Over the last weeks, to be in harmony with the autumn colors, one of my goal was to find a Ginger girlfriend (yeah, tremendous life of mine with real and factual life’s problems).
So I rationalized the question with quick figures to find out the best / faster way to get “Ginger-laid”:
First fact: this hair color is rare (1% to 2% of the human population) – Sigh, fucking recessive Ginger genes.
Second fact: Scotland has the highest proportion of ginger (13%), followed by Ireland (10%) – I need to work out my accent
Last fact: USA has the largest population of red hair (6 to 8 millions) – Everything is BIGGER there, f..k.
To be honest, I felt a little bit screwed there. I had to choose in between UK or USA to maximize my chances. But instead of moving, I wanted to see what the hell Internet could offer me to get laid?
– Google.com > “Ginger + dating” > About 14,900,000 results – #GODSPEED
…And some others
Well, well, well, Ginger’s dating sites are a niche. But all deviance are a business niches indeed. After a closer look, I wasn’t sure which one to pick, plus it seemed like it was expensive for some unsure results
I’m a lazy ass. Therefore, as a last resort, I chose to post an ad on Craigslist or even to make a Facebook event shit.
I’m def a social creep.
I was ready to publish my stuff, when came to my mind a bright / easy solution: I’m just going to ask my next girlfriend to do a ginger hair-color (and why not a clean bush color too). Perhaps she will look like Scarlett.J.
My porn of view:
It’s hard to tell who are my top redhead girls. I could probably put a fap-counter under my desk and dig out some metrics from all the months of hard accurate research done on Pornhub , YouJizz, Xhamster and co. Indeed, as time goes by, all these research gave me some crackhead eyes with an hard stamped #Redhead tag burnt directly on my retina. It’s lovely!
Nevertheless, I’ve got here my first glamour list with some gorgeous Red Hot models leaving me reacting like Homer Simpson gurgling in front of junk food :
Girls , are you against polygamy ? Just asking! I love you all. I’ve got enough love for each one of you and sharing is caring you know…
But deeper, my real porn crushes are way more intense. It’s difficult to make this list, gosh… but the following girls are creating an instant underpants pop. They are electrifying my brain, leaving it to a basic level of animal instinct where I just want to taste them and spread my love.
Faye Reagan // Young and restless
Camille Crimson // From her mouth: “You all know I love cum. Absolutely I do! How could I be so enthusiastic about cumshots and facials and swallowing if I didn’t love it?”
Nikki Rhodes // I want her as the Girl next to my door …
Scarlett Pain // Where are you?
Girls, I’m in a way jealous about every scene you can do.
It is unfair and I wish it could be only me fucking you in your flicks.
I know this is a rough poetic way to express myself but I truly have weird feelings for you and they are driven by a pure sinful dedication, because you are Sex-Goddesses.
To be honest, I shook my intimity for so long in the dark on your content, that I became ambidextrous and I developed some kind of nigh-vision power. Don’t you think, I would deserve a special award for these skills?
If you ever read these words, please contact me, I’m ready to be yours.
I leave you here and I go back to my Suicidal Fap-Tendencies….