Miley Cyrus: Million Dollar Baby!

This week we’ve seen a pretty cool proposal done to Miley Cyrus. GameLink offered her one million dollar to direct her own porn flick (without any word backs from the concerned).

About Miley

Unless you live somewhere lost in the time (lucky you!), everyone has seen recently that the ex-Disney kid’s idol has finally been through her adolescent angst with a massive existential crisis that lead to a whole image/attitude’s renewal in a puerile-pseudo-pornish-cool-kid-hysterical-rebellion’s way. All the recent video music and other live performances (like the famous VMA one), left people shocked with so far too many over-reactions. I love you puritans but LEAVE MILEY ALONE!

JORDAN - Miley

Do not mess with the 23 !

Really, what are people shocked about?
Exacerbated sexuality is everywhere in the medias. She hasn’t done more than any chic porn’s luxury advertising. Or nothing more than a Rihanna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or even Madonna and any music whores at their level, in their time… No alarm, no surprises. She’s kindly following the $$$$$ way. Yeah, she’s just a lovely brainless puppet convinced by crooked vultures that she can run the world by showing her physical assets (GET CURVES please).

Frankly, what were we expecting of her after she sold her soul to Disney?

Going through the whole Miley’s evolution (if we can call it an evolution), the only question popping to my mind is: What did happen to Hannah Montana?


The answer is pretty simple: Who cares!

The Porn flick

Back on the Porn side of the moon, it’s pretty clear that our fresh blonde’s head won’t have any trouble to find some inspirations because of the last stuff she’s done.
We can sense a pattern of tags for her Porn flick. It’s all about twerking (badly done), giant tongue (scary), licking hammers (Kink castle ?), foam finger-bang, spanky behavior, Teddy Bear’s fetish, giant dolls,  stuffed animals, french fries skulls (uh?), weed, pool party and lesbians flirt in a pastel color shape world tinted of Afro-American culture…

The scene could take place in a bathroom and if we follow the Shakespearean intense writing style of « We can’t stop« , it should most likely be an interracial orgy.

« To my home girls here with the big butt
Shaking it like we at a strip club
Remember only God can judge ya
Forget the haters cause somebody loves ya
And everyone in line in the bathroom
Trying to get a line in the bathroom
We all so turned up here
Getting turned up, yeah, yeah »

For the title, we’ve got plenty of choice: « Bang Herz« , « She can’t stop« , « Anal Montana« , « Orgy in the U.S.A » and many more…

For the casting, well it’s her choice, but I would suggest to follow the actual trends of #amateur.



As Sinead’O’Conor and Annie Lennox did, here is my open letter to Miss Cyrus:

Girl, I’m not God (not yet!) but  I’m judging you here on a pure artistic level: you are bad.
The only thing I want to do right now is sorting out this infamous bile’s taste in my mouth, washing my ears with some heavy music and my eyes with porn because I listened and watch so far too many of your shit.
Be honest, do you really believe in what you are doing?
Indeed, can you even explain what you are actually doing?
For the sake of humanity, please Miley stop thinking you are important and humbly go for Porn, you will shine the same way you’re doing now but without songs of yours for us to hear. I see a bright future where you can stop breaking our balls and take a real step in SEX. No more myriad views of  this monstrous tongue of yours (even if it can be good for oral sex), no more puking music’s material and no more weak flat ass twerk’s attempts.

The Porn escape is here … Do it Miley, dammit do it!
And leave Selena Gomez some space to go dirty!

Peace, love and get lost.




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